Accomplishment or failure. POP LO

I present to you..... 1, check, 1.



The trained...... SOLDIERS.

3rd Sergeant Afiq, Recruit Pow Eamon, 3rd Sergeant Ryan, 3rd Sergeant ENRIQUE.

The long overdue parade is finally done and over with. The jockey caps, some floating along the river, but mostly back with their owners. 17 weeks is over.

Transforming from this:

To this.

The journey from becoming a civilian, to a trained soldier, took 17 weeks. 17 long, hellish weeks. What's worse was that we were in NINJA coy(company in short). 

Before I enlisted, I knew nothing about Tekong. I knew nothing about Ninja, Kestrel, or what so ever. I just knew that it was an island far away from home. I wanted to give up so many times, because it was that grueling, for me at least. Ninja's standard was, as they say, "up there". I was never proud to be a Ninja, because I hated it there. But my views and perspective changed when my time was nearing as a Ninja recruit. 

A medal for coming in second for frisbee on games' day. And the small cookie is for getting a Silver for IPPT.

The honor was mine when we were given the games' day shirt.

Best damn shirt in BMTC.

I felt the chill, the need to do well for Ninja. And when we cheered, together as a company, everything changed. I was suddenly proud to be a Ninja recruit. We represented one of, if not, the top company in BMTC, we were indeed, "up there". 

I did myself proud, I maintained my silver for my IPPT, and got myself a medal to bring home. A proof, if you will, to show that my time inside Tekong wasn't wasted. But I somehow got myself injured during the last week in Tekong. I went to the medical center, and I was deemed unfit for the 24KM route march, and the Graduation Parade. I thought, "That's it, game over". 17 weeks have just gone to waste in one trip to the medical center. I talked every commanders. I spoke to my Platoon commander, my Platoon sergeants, my Company's officer in command, my Company's sergeant major, I asked to see the school's Company Officer. But to no avail. I gave up, I had to. But I did get to throw my jockey cap when I booked out with 18 others on Friday morning, while the main body of the company prepared for their 24km route march. 

This journey has been one hell of a ride. Ups and downs came day in, day out. First, I got bald for the first time. Then, I got myself my first girlfriend. Then I did my max repetition for pullups, 19, and got my first silver for IPPT. I made friends, and enemies. Almost got in fights, and ate food that was not meant to be eaten. I went through rain and shine, in the jungle, and in the camp. I shed blood, sweat and tears, and got my heart broken when I lost my first girlfriend. Shot live rounds, threw a grenade, dug my own grave, pooped in the wild, went 6 days without brushing my teeth and showering, and learnt more stuffs than I ever did in school. 

The two jokers in my bunk. Recruit Ong Jia Sheng, and Recruit Zulfaiz

Recruit Tay Yong Sheng. Finally got to take a photo with this bugger. REGULAR LO!

2nd Lieutenant Daryl. My Platoon's commander. Can you believe he's only 20?

Recruit Ong. Buddies for 17 weeks, can't believe time flew past so quickly. An honor to be his buddy.

Recruit Man Yong and Recruit Jing Yuan at the bottom. Crazy ass bunkmates I will never forget.

Never thought I will ever say this, but damn am I going to miss all of them. The tekan sessions, a.k.a punishments, the marching sessions, meals at the cook house, creeping around doing restricted stuffs like buying drinks, making fools out of ourselves, and of course the field camp. I'm so going to miss, sleeping on the upper bunk of the bed on the second floor, the sea breeze, the ultimate pitch black sky filled with stars and a big bright moon, the scorching hot sun shining down on us mercilessly as training carries on, the taunts each company does to each other, and all of the songs we echo daily without fail. 

For now, I will take my long awaited week long break, and hope for the best. 

Tough days don't last, tough men do.

Duty, Honor, Country, Ninja Company.

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What ifs.

Holiday insomnia strikes again. Posting at 4 in the morning can never be good.

Life's flashing by, literally. Ten days have passed since my graduation ceremony, and only seven days to go before I go bald. Kinda looking forward to days in the army, because I'll be able to train my physique.

Okay, back to the main topic of this post.
What ifs.


What if everything in the past worked out, where would I be now? What if I never met her, would my life be any different? What if I had died in one of the many accidents that had happened in the past weeks instead of the victims, would the worlds of many people change?


I was born a weak baby, and have ever since been a weak person. Therefore, death has always been on my mind. I'm always thinking of what would/could kill me, and when it would occur. And since my army days are nearing, and deaths occurrence has been really recent in the army, I'm afraid I might be the next casualty.


What if I really do die from training?
This blog will forever be dead, and as will I. Many people will be grieving, hopefully. People might rejoice, because training in the camp might be put on hold due to it. My room will be vacant for the next few months. My dog will no longer be able to take a whiff of my hands. The house will be quieter. My friends can say that they have lost a friend due to an accident. I might finally find out if there's life after death.

It's a really weird post, but these are thoughts that runs through my mind constantly throughout my existence.
CLICK . < This is a tumblr post that made me shed tear. Here's a little peek of the post.

"You're dead, you're gone. There is no going back, everything is over. You don't have to live in pain anymore, but everyone else will. What are your parents going to think? What about your little brother, or little sister? What are they going to do? You're gone, you're dead. There's no going back."

I'm writing this post for fun, not a serious 'will' or any post death instructions to people whom might be related. 

A tad too serious of a post? Have no fear, 9gag posts are here.

Cousin's new born.

Graduate lo!

Dear all, with a heavy heart, I hereby pronounce that I have officially graduated from Temasek Polytechnic.

 The past three years have been a blast, a chapter of my life I will certainly look back and smile at. These two cards have served me well, and I'm glad that I get to keep them as a memory. Never would I have imagined myself on the stage, receiving the certificate, or rather an empty booklet.

So here they are, the many pictures I took with the gown that made all of us look like we just came out from the Harry Potter movie.

So thankful for this piece of worthless paper.

Okay, I'm going to include some short descriptions about the people in the photos. Just thought I should let you know in advance.

FRIENDS.

Hafis

Or Muay Thai, as my mother would know him by. Can be considered as one of my closest friend in the whole of the three years. Never fail to help me whenever I need help or advice. A true friend that has always been a pillar of strength to all of us. Thank you for helping me clear my last academic semester with such awesome results. Couldn't ask for more from you. Continue wow-ing the world with the hidden talents and knowledge in you. \m/ on bro.

Firdaus

I also consider him to be one of my closest friend in TP. You probably can't see his physique, but he's got a pretty awesome body. Gym buddies for six months now, we got closer through the love of lifting weights and soccer. Always a funny person, his advice on relationships are really priceless to me. Thank you for being such a good buddy for all of us. Good luck with all the ladies.

Hadi

This matrep, Malay gangster, is also one of my closest friend. Yes, I have four closest friend, sorry to disappoint. He's my first friend in Temasek Polytechnic, and he's also the last one I said goodbye to yesterday. Never afraid to lend a hand in fights, or arguments, my admiration for his courage has never been in doubt. Y'know, he's also a pretty hardworking fella too. Oh, and I introduced his first, and current, girlfriend too. You're welcome buddy. Last long, take care, and stay out of trouble. I'll always be here for you bro.

Faiz and Hadi

Faiz, guy on the left, is the class clown. That's not necessarily a bad thing, because he's always trying to make everyone's day a better one. Study sessions with him made me realized that he has a serious side too. Though he can be really irritating at times, he's a quite a nice person to hang out with. One piece of advice, crack lesser jokes and you'll do fine. Keep making everyone laugh bro. 

Jessica, or Yue Ming.

This girl has been my friend for 5 years now. It's such a coincidence that our graduation ceremony took place on the same day. Congratulations to us both for graduating on the same day! Cheerios.

Pops, mom.

Pops, mom, eldest sister.

Christopher, sister's boyfriend.

Pop's "The fuck, my son graduated!?" look.

Proud mom, I presume.

As expected, the graduation ceremony bored most of us to death. For most part, only a handful of parents clapped when a graduand went up to receive their empty 'certificate-holding' booklet. I wasn't feeling nervy or excited about it at first, but when my turn came, my palms began sweating and my heart beat faster. And as my name was pronounced as 'Po Yemen', instead of 'POW E-mon', I hung my head in disappointment and trudged my way towards the lady giving out the booklet. The hall was relatively silent, and a few chuckles could be heard. And that was it.

The whole 'hoo-ha' about graduation ceremonies boiled down to the few seconds one set foot on the stage. And after that, a few photos and a few grab of finger food from the buffet tables and that was it! 

The end of this chapter. Moving on to the next on 7th June. Stay tuned.

挺好的

It means pretty good. Or, could be worse, but it isn't. You get it, right?

It's been a long while since I last felt really down in the dumps. When I have no mood to do anything, and my face is as straight as Kristen Stewart. So whenever I feel this way, I will write something optimistic that helps guide me along. Let's begin.

I may not be rich, but I have a roof over my head. 挺好的, 挺好的.
I may not travel to other countries, but I can still see what they look like on the computer I own. 挺好的, 挺好的.
I may not be able to taste the best food in the world, but I will never go hungry. 挺好的, 挺好的.

You get my point right? We may not have the things we've always dreamt of, but we still have stuffs other people may never get.

Life is never easy, but it never gets too hard. And when it does, there are ways to overcome it.

My right fist is quite oblivious to pain after all the years hitting it against the wall.

I should probably start thinking this way. 

I've always believed that I will be the best boyfriend my future girlfriend will ever have. Because I have my beliefs. And my beliefs are strong. I think they are built over years of watching videos, witnessing  real life scenarios, hearing stories, listening to music, and what goes on in the little head of mine. 

When I do get a girlfriend in the next 20 years, I will let you guys know that perfect men do exist. I will strive to be the perfect man every girl speaks of, and then I will prove them wrong. 

On a side note, I realized I have grown two sizes in the past six months. From XS, to M. Only one more size to go and I will fulfill my dream. I really can't wait for the day when I will no longer feel the ache of today.

I'm alive today, and I'm fine. 

挺好的

Life goes on.

There will come a day when your life will drastically change forever.

The group of friends you truly love, suddenly disappear from your life. You no longer hang out, call up to check on each other, and just go separate ways. All of this time you guys are getting, may be the only real precious moments you guys will ever get. Cherish every second you have with them, because there will only be regrets in the future if you don't.

Time gets the better of all of you, and you grow older. Things start to change, and perspectives will too. Love ones come first, and everyone's views differ. Time slips away, as the friendship does the same. What if this is all you guys are going to get, despite of all the promises you guys have made. To stay friends forever, despite of all the obstacles ahead. This bond will never break, that's what we said.

Nothing huge or significant really fueled the urge to blog this down. But I feel as we grow older, we begin to slip away from one another. My days of serving the nation is nearing, and I feel that this is going to be have a really huge impact on all of our lives.

How about we start cherishing all of our real friends more. Let every second with them be great ones. Imagine having to live in the future when all of them are gone, wouldn't that be a sad case that no amount of tears can wash the pain and regrets away?

Hip hop at it's best.

Not many of the people I know likes hip hop. Not the hip hop dance, the music genre.
The kids nowadays would most probably refer to this genre as "Nick Minaj" or "Drake". But I don't, and never will agree.

Hip hop, to me, is an art form that Gs in the late 90's brought to fame. And Eminem is one of the greatest hip hop artist, rapper, most will know.
But how many people really know the old school rapper and hip hop that died before we even got the chance to listen to them? I don't know many of them, but I know of Tupac Amaru Shakur. How I came to know of his story is really simple, television. One of the channels was showing his biography and how he died and what he did before he died and all those. So, being the curious kid I was, I went to search for him immediately. And 'Fwu-la', Tupac Shakur entered my life.

R.I.P Lesane Parish Crooks.

A few of my favorite Tupac songs are 'Life Goes On', 'California Love', 'Thugz Mansion', 'Changes' and 'Dear Mama'. These are just some of them I can think of right now. And you realize that non of them are called 'Stupid Hoes' or some stupid names like that. This art form is going to die out so quickly, the future generations will never know of such geniuses like this guy right here.

Oh right, this post was inspired by .. COACHELLA 2012.
Tupac Hologram Performance at Coachella 2012, the legend lives on.

I had goose bumps for every second the video was playing. I was so determined that it was actually him who was performing until the end. The hopes won't die, we still believe you're alive.

One more video for you guys to enjoy.

My bad for saying I want to go to the HOLY SHIP so badly. This is the place I want to be at. Sober, drunk by music, and most probably crying because of how my dreams were all coming true and I can finally die without regrets.

Here's a bonus video

Yes, they're actually meaningful. Something rappers nowadays should learn to do.

Thank you Coachella 2012 for not censoring all the good parts of the songs and letting the artist express themselves to the fullest. I'm pretty sure all of the hip hop fans around the world appreciate what you're doing and we love you for that. And for Tupac, RIP big brother. We love you.
Read more about Coachella 2012 here

Officially missing you.

I was rather distracted yesterday. I met my friend on the train and he told me that results were gonna be released today, rather than on Friday which I thought would be the release date. I was nervy for the whole day, constantly creating images in my mind of what was going to happen.

See, I was never the brightest kid in this family tree. For the past three years in college, I have failed quite a number of times, 10 times to be exact. I conceded defeat during my last semester in year 2. I failed two modules that semester and I thought it was game over. I somehow believed that I was going to retain for a whole semester due to the number of modules I had to clear. But last October came, and the timetable was great. It was packed, but great. I had to take 9 modules that semester and I had to be really independent.

Today, the results came out. I unlocked my phone with my shaky hands, took a deep breath, and logged into the school system. I took a peek, and despite having only slept for 6 hours, I immediately sprang into life. I couldn't believe my eyes.

I have finally made it! I can now say I am a graduate from Temasek Polytechnic. I had tears in my eyes, tears of joy, when I jumped up and down breaking the news to my elated mother. She too, was overwhelmed with joyous emotions. Her first reaction was to call all of my aunts and tell them of this piece of news. I'm so proud of myself. But I couldn't have done it without the help of my classmates. 

This is going to sound really stupid if you read it out loud, but I want to thank Muhammad Hafis Bin Suhaimi and Tay Yong Sheng for being the two best pals over the past three years. There are many others too, but I feel closer to this two pals. Thank you so much for helping me through all the bullshits. 

All the sleepless nights and overnight mugging was worth it. 

Sorry for disappointing all of your wildest dreams.

Life is like the ocean, wild and free for now.

For now, I shall bask in the light of bliss and freedom. And I can travel to Bangkok tomorrow, free of worries and sadness.

LIFE IS AWESOME, for now.

Officially missing my schooling days. Goodbye youth, hello adulthood.

Over the phase

I'm over the phase when I cry over lost friends. Cause you know, people come and people go.

Tumblr's photo

I really hate my life here in Singapore.
Every single soul I meet here, and have some sort of relationship with, grows to hate me. The problem lies with me, clearly. But I don't know what the fuck it is.

It's said that people with a sense of humor are often very well liked. I've tried, now I need to find out who the fuck said that in the first place and deck him/her. I've been anti-social, so much that people didn't know my name for the whole semester when we were in the same damn class. I've been an 'emo' before, and fuck it, people hated me too for god knows what reason.

Happy Valentine's Day?

I'm depressed over reasons not significant enough for me to react in this manner.

I guess I'm just a little disappointed with how my life has turned out and that I'm still all alone.

I want to run away, to another country. Start anew, begin with nothing. I want everything to reset, to nothing. 0000. 

It's not possible, not now, maybe not in the near future. Maybe when I turn 25, I will get out of this country and make new and better friends. Maybe I will.. 

Will you really miss me when I'm gone or will I just be another goodbye?

The only positive thing about today is that it's ending in 2 hours time. 

Another day, another challenge. -Destorm

Tired souls.

I was getting a lift from my parents on Monday when I realized how tired they both were. It was already nearing 6pm, and I had just ended school.
I was tired too, but when I saw how my mom managed to sleep on the bumpy ride home, my heart ached. I looked at my dad, and he looked really tired too. Then I wonder, what are we all working so hard for?

From right to left (Top: Sister's boyfriend, sister, me, my cousin) (Bottom: Half sober dad, Mom, and god mother.)

This was taken at a wedding dinner. It was supposed to be a family affair, but my other sister couldn't attend.
A smile covers up so much. Sorrow, anger, disappointment etc. Most of the days, my mom usually goes to bed with a smile on her face. She work so hard, day in and day out. From work, to household chores, she hardly complain.

One more small detail I noticed during the ride home. My mother's bag was really heavy, thanks to the laptop she had to bring to work. And she had to sleep in an awkward position because we were in the van. My mom had stepped on my foot while she fell asleep. I wanted to take my foot away due to a little discomfort, but I stayed put. My mom had went through 9 months of discomfort and pain while bearing me. How could I complain over such a slight discomfort as compared to hers?

A shot of all of my cousins. 

Being the third youngest in this family tree,  I'm also the tallest of them all.

That ride home had me think about so much. I don't really understand life. I really don't.

Questioning humanity

Look at a person like you were blind, you can't see him and you don't know what he looks like, judge him on how he acts.

With nothing to do, and with time on my hand, I started searching for "What would you do" on youtube.
An influx of emotions overwhelmed me. Tears of joy, shame, fury and etc.

But this particular video, to which I feel, was the most touching.
Linda Hamilton, an angel in disguise, is the type of person we must all learn from.
Caring, persistent, kind and with a heart of gold, she's the role model of humanity.



I honestly have no idea what I would do if I were in that situation. Would I walk by, or would I stop to help? He, the one on the ground, is a (stereotypical) dirty and smelly homeless man. But he is also human. I'm glad this have yet to happen to me. I would regret thoroughly if I was that heartless.

Here are some other videos that I found interesting enough to share with you guys.





Okay, look away if you have a weak heart.


Now, question humanity.

20 seconds of bravery

As 2011 had been a hell of a roller coaster ride. With great movies inbetween, and also really bad movies of course, I caught another hell of a movie on the last day of 2011.

We Bought A Zoo(Wiki; IMDb)
GREAT MOVIE.
You know why it's so great? Because it has got lots of animals, emotions, a little bit of a love story, pretty girls, and it has also got a freaking amazing quote (*the title of this post*)

20 seconds of bravery. Embarrassing bravery. That 20 seconds of crazy bravery can either be the greatest thing you've done, or it might be the thing you will regret in the future.

Oh and this is based on a REAL STORY. Someone actually bought a zoo! I think that's just freaking amazing.



I'm the kind of person who takes watching movie to a level that not many can understand. For example, I like to put myself in the actor/actress's shoes when I watch a movie. I can actually feel the emotions and even think of different outcomes in the movie, I'm weird like that.

One more thing about this movie. There's a scene where the son and the father had a fight, my emotions got jumbled up bad. You see, I wasn't feeling too well during the day and that was the first thing I told my mom when she got home from work with my dad. My dad overheard me saying that I had a weird pain in my abdomen/kidney area and I don't know what got into him, but he said "Ah, that means you're gonna die.". I brushed it off when he said that for the first time. But he continued telling me that my time was up and even asked me why I was still alive. He's one fucked up father/husband if you ask me.

Okay, that's about it. Not a good way to end 2011, but what the fuck. Who gives a damn to the new year. If it's true, this is the year the world ends, how is that a thing to look forward to? If given a chance, I would rather live in 2011 forever, or 2010.