It was me, you, and Leon, riding at the back of my dad's van. I persuaded my dad to fetch you home in the middle of the night. And that was just the beginning of every thing weird that happened in the dream.
Upon reaching the foot of your block, I accompanied you to your door step. Things got mad weird. You opened the doors to your dad throwing things from his room, and your mom sobbing uncontrollably. You took off to your room, telling me with your derp language "much yellingz", and many other funky words which I don't remember. I walked in to see how you were doing and just happened to stand in the firing range of lamps, books and cups being thrown at my direction. Your dad was hysterical at this moment. You ran out of your house and I followed you.
Crazily, a chair followed me. Your dad had flung a chair at me, and it got me right smack at my back. Me, being the crazy fellow that I have become, picked it up and challenged him to throw more stuffs at me. But before he could do anything, I broke the chair through my head and my ears buzzed soon after. He was shocked, and started to calm down. I took him in to one of your house's rooms, and talked to him. I can't vividly remember the full conversation, but I managed to talk some sense into him and he told me about stuffs. I said something along the line of "Young adults are meant to be wild and free", and "Don't hold it against her(You), she's just lost". I went out to look for you at the corridor and you hugged me. While walking towards the lift, you told me "你是我的英雄 2, because the first one was my ex. Thank you". We hugged again on the way down in the lift and I took the chance to kiss you. It calmed my nerves and it felt right.
Your dad joined us at the void deck moments later and we started looking for something. He shared stories with me, and said something crazy to either you or thin air, because I'm sure it wasn't me. "He's the type of guy you want to marry. He protected you from the chair, and stood up for you. While your ex just looked for solutions to calm me down without actions. He's the type of guy you want to marry in the future". And that was too much for me to take in, and then I woke up.
A's gone and will never return. I will turn down A every god damn time, because she's damned by the gods to never be in my life. She's the wild ride I took once, and had enough of. The second time was but a crazier and wilder ride that took my lungs away. But as always, she and I were never meant to be.
"My mind was all over the place, trying to be someone I thought you like."
Dear you,
I'm messy, torn apart, uncertain in a million ways, and wild is but an understatement. I shift from love to hate in a matter of seconds because I've been taught to do that in the past year. My doors are left ajar for anyone who dare themselves to take up a challenge. I want change so great that even I'm afraid. I don't want anyone to come in, only to leave as soon as they have had enough of what I have to offer. And what I have to offer come and go in a matter of seconds. Dear you, I am made out of a thousand different versions of the past mes and the mes that I see myself to be one day. I will not only not work out smoothly, but I will also be your wildest nightmare. I am selfish, heartless, crazy, spontaneous, an emotional wreck, and I am not one for the future. Dear you, my wishes for the negatives always come true, one way or another. Please stop before I do anything stupid like Mosby you.
Dreamer.
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| Day 24 |
"My mouth can't translate the things my heart says"
