Old story books.

"People are poison, pow. People are poison. Never forget"

Don't blame me for constantly having different girls to worry over, because I was never this type of person to start with. Well, I guess to be fair, no one was.

You can't just come into my life, make me different, and leave. It doesn't work that way.

I'm not saying that you changed me, but you did play an important role over the past year that made me become who I am today.

Inked, your claim of my left wrist, I still wonder if I'll ever come to regret any of them.

I never forget. I just choose to not remember stuffs.

"Were you kidding about what you said of your ink?", she asked as she held onto my left wrist and looked at it.

I replied with a stern no, and sneaked a peek at her.

I don't know what was going through your mind when you asked me that, or what made you ask that question in the first place. 

Really am just holding on for the night.

I guess it worked eventually, didn't it? People have always been very visual creatures. And I guess getting inked really did turn things a little to my favour.

I can't let my mind go blank. Because that's when it all goes crazy.
It starts to wander, and wonder. It gets all messed up, thinking about every little thing.
Like, what she said that night. Or why didn't I do that. All the whys, whens, hows start pouring out.

I'm not saying I don't mean what I said a few months back. But feelings change, and people change. And at that moment, when you're not there for me nor were I for you, my heart tilted a little.

The world suddenly revolved no more around you, nor did it around anyone else. It just stood still, very still, and made me hella confused. You cannot just expect someone as stupid as me to not do stupid things like falling for you.

And no, I'm not actually all over you right now like I would be a few months back if this happened. I'm kind of proud at myself. About how good I'm keeping my emotions and feelings in check.

"The people who keep saying that they're fine, are usually the people who are not.". 
Well, I guess I'm not fine then.

But if third time really is the charm, then I dare you to come closer.

Making galaxies tonight.

"Vincent Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would get the happiness inside him. Many people thought he was mad and stupid for doing so, because the paint was toxic, never mind that it was obvious that eating paint couldn't possibly have any direct correlation to one's happiness, but I never saw that. If you were so unhappy that even the maddest ideas could possibly work, like painting the walls of your internal organs yellow, than you're going to do it. It's really no different from falling in love, or taking drugs. There is a greater risk of getting your heart broken, or overdosing, but people still do it everyday because there was always that chance it could make things better. Everyone has their own yellow paint."

Accomplishment or failure. POP LO

I present to you..... 1, check, 1.



The trained...... SOLDIERS.

3rd Sergeant Afiq, Recruit Pow Eamon, 3rd Sergeant Ryan, 3rd Sergeant ENRIQUE.

The long overdue parade is finally done and over with. The jockey caps, some floating along the river, but mostly back with their owners. 17 weeks is over.

Transforming from this:

To this.

The journey from becoming a civilian, to a trained soldier, took 17 weeks. 17 long, hellish weeks. What's worse was that we were in NINJA coy(company in short). 

Before I enlisted, I knew nothing about Tekong. I knew nothing about Ninja, Kestrel, or what so ever. I just knew that it was an island far away from home. I wanted to give up so many times, because it was that grueling, for me at least. Ninja's standard was, as they say, "up there". I was never proud to be a Ninja, because I hated it there. But my views and perspective changed when my time was nearing as a Ninja recruit. 

A medal for coming in second for frisbee on games' day. And the small cookie is for getting a Silver for IPPT.

The honor was mine when we were given the games' day shirt.

Best damn shirt in BMTC.

I felt the chill, the need to do well for Ninja. And when we cheered, together as a company, everything changed. I was suddenly proud to be a Ninja recruit. We represented one of, if not, the top company in BMTC, we were indeed, "up there". 

I did myself proud, I maintained my silver for my IPPT, and got myself a medal to bring home. A proof, if you will, to show that my time inside Tekong wasn't wasted. But I somehow got myself injured during the last week in Tekong. I went to the medical center, and I was deemed unfit for the 24KM route march, and the Graduation Parade. I thought, "That's it, game over". 17 weeks have just gone to waste in one trip to the medical center. I talked every commanders. I spoke to my Platoon commander, my Platoon sergeants, my Company's officer in command, my Company's sergeant major, I asked to see the school's Company Officer. But to no avail. I gave up, I had to. But I did get to throw my jockey cap when I booked out with 18 others on Friday morning, while the main body of the company prepared for their 24km route march. 

This journey has been one hell of a ride. Ups and downs came day in, day out. First, I got bald for the first time. Then, I got myself my first girlfriend. Then I did my max repetition for pullups, 19, and got my first silver for IPPT. I made friends, and enemies. Almost got in fights, and ate food that was not meant to be eaten. I went through rain and shine, in the jungle, and in the camp. I shed blood, sweat and tears, and got my heart broken when I lost my first girlfriend. Shot live rounds, threw a grenade, dug my own grave, pooped in the wild, went 6 days without brushing my teeth and showering, and learnt more stuffs than I ever did in school. 

The two jokers in my bunk. Recruit Ong Jia Sheng, and Recruit Zulfaiz

Recruit Tay Yong Sheng. Finally got to take a photo with this bugger. REGULAR LO!

2nd Lieutenant Daryl. My Platoon's commander. Can you believe he's only 20?

Recruit Ong. Buddies for 17 weeks, can't believe time flew past so quickly. An honor to be his buddy.

Recruit Man Yong and Recruit Jing Yuan at the bottom. Crazy ass bunkmates I will never forget.

Never thought I will ever say this, but damn am I going to miss all of them. The tekan sessions, a.k.a punishments, the marching sessions, meals at the cook house, creeping around doing restricted stuffs like buying drinks, making fools out of ourselves, and of course the field camp. I'm so going to miss, sleeping on the upper bunk of the bed on the second floor, the sea breeze, the ultimate pitch black sky filled with stars and a big bright moon, the scorching hot sun shining down on us mercilessly as training carries on, the taunts each company does to each other, and all of the songs we echo daily without fail. 

For now, I will take my long awaited week long break, and hope for the best. 

Tough days don't last, tough men do.

Duty, Honor, Country, Ninja Company.

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Over the phase

I'm over the phase when I cry over lost friends. Cause you know, people come and people go.

Tumblr's photo

I really hate my life here in Singapore.
Every single soul I meet here, and have some sort of relationship with, grows to hate me. The problem lies with me, clearly. But I don't know what the fuck it is.

It's said that people with a sense of humor are often very well liked. I've tried, now I need to find out who the fuck said that in the first place and deck him/her. I've been anti-social, so much that people didn't know my name for the whole semester when we were in the same damn class. I've been an 'emo' before, and fuck it, people hated me too for god knows what reason.

Happy Valentine's Day?

I'm depressed over reasons not significant enough for me to react in this manner.

I guess I'm just a little disappointed with how my life has turned out and that I'm still all alone.

I want to run away, to another country. Start anew, begin with nothing. I want everything to reset, to nothing. 0000. 

It's not possible, not now, maybe not in the near future. Maybe when I turn 25, I will get out of this country and make new and better friends. Maybe I will.. 

Will you really miss me when I'm gone or will I just be another goodbye?

The only positive thing about today is that it's ending in 2 hours time. 

Another day, another challenge. -Destorm