Greetings, March.

Hi March. Time flies.
It was just the beginning of Chinese New Year a few weeks back, and now it's over. Like time, money's gone as well.

Year of the Ssssss-snake

Chinese New Year Day 1, with baby Faith.

CNY Day 2, Mom with baby Eva Fei

When Canada meets China.

This year's Chinese New Year was all about the babies. The family's getting real huge and noisy with all the screaming kids and crying babies. There are two who stood out though, baby Eva Fei and baby Faith. A cousin of mine left for Canada a couple of years back, and came back this year, married and with a kid. Her husband is a French living in Canada and they created this first Eurasian baby in the family. Her name's Eva Fei.

Eva Fei with her Patrick.

Little China Doll

Everyone was vying to play with her. Thank goodness I managed to take a picture with her before my cousin flew back to the Great White North. I also love the little china doll, baby Faith. Because she's so chubby and so independent, she's totally fine when her parents handed her over to us and allowed us to bring her around the neighborhood for a walk without them.

In other not really surprising news, I fell in love with snapping photos of skyandshit.

Acrophobia

Then I started planning for my future.

Say No to 6.9million population in Singapore.

Went for my first ever protest. It was one I was proud to be a part of. Singaporeans of different race, language, and religion stood together as one and voiced out our displeasure in harmony.

#waywire

Got inspired by photos on tumblr, so I decided to make one myself. My own jug of money is growing, many thanks to the red packet I received over the Chinese New Year. This particular pile is for a trip to Japan this year, it's a promise I made to Marie on her last day in Singapore, or rather our last day spent together in Singapore. I cannot afford to break anymore promises, I loathe myself because I couldn't keep one huge one in the past. 

Lastly, friends, celebrity crush and Eminem.

Have been hanging out a whole lot with this three musketeers. Though we're not really a perfect fit, like we're odd in our own little ways and sometimes our humor can't seem to match, I'm thankful for having them in my life right now. It's a new found clique, like it happened only two months ago, though we've known each other for years now, I hope this will go the distance. Thank you for bringing smiles and laughter into my life when I thought I've lost it for good.

Detroit stand up. So glad to have this in my cap collection. It took nearly half a year to arrive, and I thought it would never get here, ever. It's something too good for me to pass on, so I bought it the minute I saw it go on sale. 

Yeah, Jennifer Lawrence's my celebrity crush. She's like this down-to-earth, girl-next-door type of person. She's 22 and she's won quite a number of huge awards like the Oscars and the Golden Globe. 

Simplest way to make you understand why I love her so much.

Yeah, that's all for now.

March, please, please be good.

Hip hop at it's best.

Not many of the people I know likes hip hop. Not the hip hop dance, the music genre.
The kids nowadays would most probably refer to this genre as "Nick Minaj" or "Drake". But I don't, and never will agree.

Hip hop, to me, is an art form that Gs in the late 90's brought to fame. And Eminem is one of the greatest hip hop artist, rapper, most will know.
But how many people really know the old school rapper and hip hop that died before we even got the chance to listen to them? I don't know many of them, but I know of Tupac Amaru Shakur. How I came to know of his story is really simple, television. One of the channels was showing his biography and how he died and what he did before he died and all those. So, being the curious kid I was, I went to search for him immediately. And 'Fwu-la', Tupac Shakur entered my life.

R.I.P Lesane Parish Crooks.

A few of my favorite Tupac songs are 'Life Goes On', 'California Love', 'Thugz Mansion', 'Changes' and 'Dear Mama'. These are just some of them I can think of right now. And you realize that non of them are called 'Stupid Hoes' or some stupid names like that. This art form is going to die out so quickly, the future generations will never know of such geniuses like this guy right here.

Oh right, this post was inspired by .. COACHELLA 2012.
Tupac Hologram Performance at Coachella 2012, the legend lives on.

I had goose bumps for every second the video was playing. I was so determined that it was actually him who was performing until the end. The hopes won't die, we still believe you're alive.

One more video for you guys to enjoy.

My bad for saying I want to go to the HOLY SHIP so badly. This is the place I want to be at. Sober, drunk by music, and most probably crying because of how my dreams were all coming true and I can finally die without regrets.

Here's a bonus video

Yes, they're actually meaningful. Something rappers nowadays should learn to do.

Thank you Coachella 2012 for not censoring all the good parts of the songs and letting the artist express themselves to the fullest. I'm pretty sure all of the hip hop fans around the world appreciate what you're doing and we love you for that. And for Tupac, RIP big brother. We love you.
Read more about Coachella 2012 here

The invisibles.

This one's for the kids who were never cool enough, who were forgotten, who were left out from parties, who were never important enough to be waited for and lastly, this one's for the kids who tried everything they could to be accepted by people who they thought were their friends.

You have no confidence, everything you do seem to fail, and you seem to be all alone despite of all the people surrounding you. You feel ugly, discouraged and constantly feel like dying.

Just some pictures I edited, in the past, for my tumblr.
So trust me when I say I've been through that path before.

Sometimes 9gag can be really stupid, but there are times when it makes me feel like everything's going to be alright.

You need to know that there are going to be some people out there who will appreciate you for who you are. Life is going to be really difficult to handle for a couple of years, but once you realize what's important and what's not, everything will be fine. Trust me. I've been on that path before, it's tough.

You will grow up and you will realize that less is more. You don't need one thousand fake friends, you need 2 true friends and you're good to go. Find what's good for you, what's important to you, and let all of the nonsense and unimportant stuffs go. You'll be in a better place, and you will start to see clearer.

Cheers to all you invisible souls

We're going to do fine in the end.

When they're gone

I just stumbled upon my friend's status update on Facebook and he's gone back to his hometown in Varanassi, Uttar Pradesh (India).
Even though we were never the closest friends, nor did we get along well, he still played a major role in molding the person that I have become today.
It might not be a severe or major enough news for me to be reacting in this manner, I still felt that it's a pity that he's left behind life in Singapore. A sudden wave of sadness overwhelmed me, and thoughts came running into my mind.

Many a time, we don't cherish the things and people around us. We often realize the importance that they hold, only when we've lost them. I'm not good at expressing my emotions and feelings in person, and that makes it really difficult for me to let people know how much they mean to me.

When will we realize the importance of a certain thing, be it an object or a person, before it's too late.

Eminem - Difficult

Lyrics

Every single one of them mean something to me. Memories of them left somewhere in the corner of my heart. From 2008 to 2011

Marshall Bruce Mathers III

Today is the 17th of October. It's the day when a legend was born.
He is none other than ....




I'm so glad that Deborah R. Nelson Mathers-Briggs, Eminem's mother, gave birth to him. She didn't realize that he would one day become the greatest rapper ever.

Eminem has been my mentor, my listener, my guardian angel, my music, my eyes, my brain. He's given me so much, in fact more than anyone has ever given me. He's taught me to be independent, be carefree, be who the fuck you want to be, be crude, be everything I can ever dream of.

He's the only artist that can make me cry, or think alot. His music can make me be oblivious to my surrounding and just be myself. There are just too many things to say about this legend.

So I made a picture yesterday..



Thank you slim shady, marshall bruce mathers, eminem, bunny rabbit, evil, white guy in black rap group, stan for everything. If you weren't born, I wouldn't be alive.
This one's for you.

This one's for you and me.

I don't know if you know this already or not. But hey look here.



Yes Eminem is back at it again. Top of the music world. Hits after hits in just 3 years. He's done it.

Hailie, your dad is at the top of the world. You should be really proud of him. To be able to go from a nobody, to a drug addict, to losing his best friend, to almost losing his damn life, and to where he is at now. Hailie, I'd trade 2 lifetime worth of living till a 100 year old for this. I would be so damn proud to have a father like yours.

Hey Marshall, you ARE the illest in the music. Congratulations.

Oh and did I mention how happy I was when I saw the music video. I had goosebumps when he started his verse.
Let's continue fighting, fighters.

So lost without you.

If you haven't heard, Eminem's spacebound music VIDEO is officially out. I'm a few days late in blogging about this, but I just gotta share it. If you have yet to watch it, watch it NOW.

Ok I got a little emotional when I was listening to this song. I'm a perfectly normal boy with an addiction for rap music, Eminem and the color black. I look sad all the time because there's nothing I can think of that makes me happy. I'm fully contented with my life, but I want a little more. I want someone to be there when I need a listening ear. I want someone who is willing to be mine. My mom is a perfect person, only thing is that she's in a relationship with my dad.
Everyday in school, my phone's battery die out because I listen to songs excessively, or I play games on it too much. I don't text nobody, I don't call nobody except for my mom and dad. I don't even know why I have a phone. I pity myself, and I don't know if that's a positive or a negative thing.

Why is it so hard to fall for me? I protect all of my female friends, I respect them, I know the boundaries and I don't cross any line. Maybe I'm just not good looking enough. People say personality speaks the loudest, I'm just a little negative, otherwise I can't think of anything else that would ruin my personality. So why haven't I been on a single date? Does that mean whatever girls say are lies?

Fuck this shit, I think I should date myself since no one wants me.

Friend, halfway across the world.

It's been awhile. I'm sorry for not updating this blog. Have been really lazy during the holidays. But since the holidays are over, I guess laziness isn't an excuse anymore.

First off, I made a new penpal! One from Romania, and one from Poland. But I write to the Romanian more. I'm really slow to start this penpal thing, but I'm really enjoying it. Getting to know people from different places, and learning about different cultures. I think I'm slowly feeling more like a human. Pssh.

Ok. Secondly, I've shared some links at the side bar and anyone is free to follow me on twitter and tumblr, and read my other blog over at wordpress. I would put my facebook page, but I know I won't accept people whom I don't know. Maybe I will put it, just not now.

Thirdly, Eminem's comeback is finally complete. 3 albums in 3 years. One more with another artist. I guess Eminem's up for the Artist of the Decade award. I'm so awed by him, no words can ever describe my feelings.

To end this sloppy post up, I will be posting more frequently. So stay tuned! In the meantime, go visit my other sites! :)
Till then.

Love story ; A broken one.

I wasn't looking when I stumbled onto you, must have been fate. -Eminem

Ok let's start. I'll start by saying that
1) I've never had so much to talk to a girl I like, in person.
2) I've never had a girl sitting beside me on the way home in a bus and just sharing the moment.
3) I've never had a girl sign on me(cast for my broken arm), with <3 in it.
4) I've never met a girl I like, while doing something I enjoy.

To summarise things up, she's really the first girl I think I would go out with or even try everything to be with her.
Now, let's officially start.

I joined the Frisbee Sports Club on January 2010. I was persuaded by a few friends of mine to try it out. And the club was really small when we first joined, and then they had plans to expand it. May came, and the club got expanded real big. People swarmed in to train with us, and well, I didn't really noticed her. Then people started leaving the club because they got bored of it, but she stayed. Then we started seeing more of each other. And one fine day after training, the team decided to go over to the mall to have lunch together. I sat, directly opposite her. I was kinda shy at first, but she was really really friendly. 6 of us sat at one table and had buffet for lunch. We talked, laughed, joked around and just enjoyed ourselves. I didn't know I could be so natural around girls.
And so coincidentally, we live a couple of streets away from each other. So we took the same bus back home that day. I sat next to her, but we didn't chat, I guess we still weren't that close. Time passed, and trainings after trainings, we got to know each other more. I added her on MSN and chatted with her.
Blablabla, forwarding a couple of months later. I broke my elbow during a competition, but I still attended trainings, to see her of course. And when I had my cast on, she actually signed on it! She wrote "Get well soon! ***(Her name), <3."
She signed it while we were on our way home in the bus, with her sitting beside me. I was lost for words and we actually sat down after the bus ride to chat for a few minutes.

Well, I guess I suck at telling a story, you must be in my shoes to know how it felt like. Everything was so.... dreamy. Her grabbing hold of my shirt when we watched the competition together, she sitting by me, smiling to me, texting me, and just being there with me was all I could ever ask for. And you know what, just by typing this paragraph down, I'm starting to feel the heartache because everything is gone. Tho nothing ever started, it's gone. I even got the same phone as her so that we could bbm. But I guess she will never know the reason behind it.

I really liked you alot, so much that I think I would call it love. I know it's a strong word, but you never gave me a chance to prove myself. I think I still like you, even after trying to fall for another girl. Nothing worked out between the other girl and I, and nothing worked out between us. I really really like you, I really do.
I must end here, I'm getting kinda too sad.
Sorry for this nonsense you just read.

Dreams.

I had the scariest dream yesterday.
I've never had too many friends, so when one of the good ones come, it's natural for them to leave in a jiffy.

Back to the dream. My friend, Khairul, was stabbed in his chest and died. I was broken, I ran after the guy who stabbed my friend. I chased him for so long, I cried and screamed while I was chasing. That emotion, felt so real, I swear I thought it was really happening. Nothing could've changed the outcome, my friend died, thankfully it was only a dream.

I really don't know what would become of me, if one of my close friend died.
I would tell you more, but it would make the post too wordy, and the rest of the dream is too draggy.
If you haven't listen to the song, "I Need A Doctor Feat Eminem & Skylar Grey By Dr. Dre", you should really go and listen to it. The emotion Eminem brings to the song, just make me speechless. If you watch the video, you can see how agitated Eminem is when he raps. It's like his expressing himself when he's rapping.
-All I know is, you came when I was at my lowest. -Eminem

To realize and to learn.

I remember saying that I was so angry because of all the raps I was listening to. I was so influenced by the raps that I started hating on everybody. But I just realized that they weren't made for us to get mad at people, they were made when the rappers were mad at people, and they just want us NOT to follow in their footsteps.
So the most recent raps I begin to listen to are really really inspiring, and they taught me alot. As usual, all the meanings and explanations were all made up by me.

As I sat down for dinner, my mom watched. We began to talk, from school work to life, to the past and the future. I told my mom, "Do you remember when you told me not to trust my friend too much?", she nodded. I continued on with my story on how they have lost all of my trust and all of the hatred I have on them are turning into inspirations for me to write down rhymes. I don't call them raps or songs, because they're just bits and pieces of my thoughts and I just jot them down, and most of them don't even rhyme.

Over the past year, I've grown up so much. I've stayed my distance, because I didn't dare to step into a friendship my mom have no trust in. You see, my mom have been my "fortune teller" for my whole entire life, and I trust her so much, I show her all of my friends' pictures so that she could tell me more about them. Her predictions, or views on my friends, have been so true. You really have to know her to believe me.

So, I'm here to tell you readers,
-help people without expecting people to help you back. Help with no regrets and no expectations.
-Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful oh, they can all get fucked. Just stay true to you so, don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful. Oh they can all get fucked, just stay true to you (Beautiful - Eminem : Relapse)
-When they push you down, you gotta get back up. (Get Back Up Feat Chris Brown - T.I. : No Mercy)
Last but not least, know that no matter what happens in your life. No matter who backstabs you and who spits on you, know that life goes on. You just gotta stand back up.

And do know that I'm here always ready to give you any type of advice you need, that are within my dictionary or capabilities to give you advices. I may not be right, but I try my best to help anyone that is worth helping.
Check back soon, or not.
Peace.

Life as it is.

I look back, when life was carefree and stress was never in my dictionary, and think. How foolish I was to never have spent every second like it was my last. I could've done so much more, the road I am on now would have been so much more different. Maybe better? Maybe worse? I won't know. But I'm happy at where I am now, how can I not be.



I've made so many mistakes in the past, the near past, and I regret. But those mistakes made me a better person. I feel that I've grown up so much in the past year or so. I feel like I'm a better person, I don't know how I look like in other people's point of view, but I feel happier.



You know how much I idolise on Eminem, I have managed to memorise so many of his songs in my head. Whenever I'm alone in school, and there's time to spare, I would go to somewhere quiet, somehow elevated. I would go to my school's tallest floor and just sit there, on the flight of stairs, admiring the beauty of looking at things from afar, and away from all the noise. I would play his songs over and over on my ipod and just chill. An hour passes by as if it was a minute. Things run through my mind when I'm sitting there, alone. There are so many things I would think of, and be sad. They call me emo, but I really am not. I just prefers to be away from everyone and think. Is that wrong? I'm a little anti-social, and very much an introvert.

Do you know what i've been through? It might not be much, but it's what goes on in my mind that kills me. Things in my mind hits me so hard, sometimes I blank out.

People judge me because of how I portray myself, how I appear to be. But maybe there's another side of me waiting to appear. I don't really know myself much, so how can you know me well? Ask me how many times have I really feel lost. I don't have the answer myself. Ask me how many friends do I have. I can count them for you. And ask me how many people do I trust. I would think for a second and say, "My mother".



I would say more, but people would judge. So for now, I'm just going to stop.



Signing off.

Reasons

I know why I like to coop myself in my room, doing nothing but stare at the computer screen trying to find things to do.
My family, the noise, the constant shoutings and the squabblings my sister and her boyfriend take part in every five minutes make me wanna just shove an ear plug in each side of my ears.

It's so fucking annoying when you're trying to watch a show and they have to just come and sit there, start talking so fucking loudly and's you hear no shit from the tv. Then the next thing you do is try to drown their voice by turning up the volume of the tv and that's when you get scolded by your parents.

My room, I shut the door, no sound comes in but the typing of the keyboard and the music I play from my desktop is enough for me to stay away from everything else and indulge in my own good taste.

And do you have any clue what I had to do to get here, I don't think you do so stay tuned and keep your eyes glued to the stereo. -Eminem

Brainwashed

They say music can alter moods and talk to you. -Eminem

But can it brainwash a guy and change his look?

I believe it can. I've been listening to Eminem's songs crazily over the past few days, replaying them over and over again. Trying to decipher all the meanings of the songs, tho it could be wrong. But it somehow clears my mind, make me see better through this concrete jungle. I don't know if it's the songs or is it me who read too much into them, but I feel it has helped me in so many ways.

When I blog in this blog, I'm such a different person. I've realized I've been typing and typing but not really knowing what is appearing on the screen. These words, they just appear in my mind and I just type them down real quick without having the time to really understand them. So if they look like some bullshit, they really are. Just skim through it, they might make more sense that way.

Signing off

A little information about me

I've been trying to put up a post for the past thirty minutes. I can't think of anything to post up, maybe I'll let you know why I'm so madly inspired by Eminem. Just go to youtube and type "Renegade by Jay-Z Featuring Eminem", and listen to Eminem's killer verses.

[Jay-Z]

Motherfuckers -
say that I'm foolish I only talk about jewels (bling bling)
Do you fools listen to music or do you just skim through it?
See I'm influenced by the ghetto you ruined
That same dude you gave nothin', I made somethin doin'
what I do through and through and
I give you the news - with a twist it's just his ghetto point-of-view
The renegade; you been afraid
I penetrate pop culture, bring 'em a lot closer to the block where they
pop toasters, and they live with they moms
Got dropped roasters, from botched robberies niggaz crotched over
Mommy's knocked up cause she wasn't watched over
Knocked down by some clown when child support knocked
No he's not around - now how that sound to ya, jot it down
I bring it through the ghetto without ridin 'round
hidin down duckin strays from frustrated youths stuck in they ways
Just read a magazine that fucked up my day
How you rate music that thugs with nothin relate to it?
I help them see they way through it - not you
Can't step in my pants, can't walk in my shoes
Bet everything you worth; you lose your tie and your shirt

[Eminem]
Since I'm in a position to talk to these kids and they listen
I ain't no politician but I'll kick it with 'em a minute
Cause see they call me a menace; and if the shoe fits I'll wear it
But if it don't, then y'all'll swallow the truth grin and bear it
Now who's these king of these rude ludicrous lucrative lyrics
Who could inherit the title, put the youth in hysterics
Usin' his music to steer it, sharin his views and his merits
But there's a huge interference - they're sayin you shouldn't hear it
Maybe it's hatred I spew, maybe it's food for the spirit
Maybe it's beautiful music I made for you to just cherish
But I'm debated disputed hated and viewed in America
as a motherfuckin drug addict - like you didn't experiment?
Now now, that's when you start to stare at who's in the mirror
and see yourself as a kid again, and you get embarrased
And I got nothin' to do but make you look stupid as parents
You fuckin do-gooders - too bad you couldn't do good at marriage!
(Ha ha!) And do you have any clue what I had to do to get here I don't
think you do so stay tuned and keep your ears glued to the stereo
Cause here we go - he's {*Jigga joint Jigga-chk-Jigga*
And I'm the sinister, Mr. Kiss-My-Ass it's just the

[Chorus: Eminem + Jay-Z]
[Em] RENEGADE! Never been afraid to say
what's on my mind at, any given time of day
Cause I'm a RENEGADE! Never been afraid to talk
about anything (ANYTHING) anything (ANYTHING), RENEGADE!
[Jay] Never been afraid to say
what's on my mind at, any given time of day
Cause I'm a {RENEGADE Never been afraid to holler
about anything {anything? Anything {ANYTHING!

[Jay-Z]
I had to hustle, my back to the wall, ashy knuckles
Pockets filled with a lot of lint, not a cent
Gotta vent, lot of innocent of lives lost on the project bench
Whatchu hollerin'? Gotta pay rent, bring dollars in
By the bodega, iron under my coat, feelin braver
Doo-rag wrappin my waves up, pockets full of hope
Do not step to me - I'm awkward, I box leftier often
My pops left me an orphan, my momma wasn't home
Could not stress to me I wasn't grown; 'specially on nights
I brought somethin home to quiet the stomach rumblings
My demeanor - thirty years my senior
My childhood didn't mean much, only raisin green up
Raisin' my fingers to critics; raisin' my head to the sky
BIG I did it - multi before I die (nigga)
No lie, just know I chose my own fate
I drove by the fork in the road and went straight

[Eminem]
See I'm a poet to some, a regular modern day Shakespeare
Jesus Christ the King of these Latter Day Saints here
To shatter the picture in which of that as they paint me
as a monger of hate and Satan a scatter-brained atheist
But that ain't the case, see it's a matter of taste
We as a people decide if Shady's as bad as they say he is
Or is he the latter - a gateway to escape?
Media scapegoat, who they can be mad at today
See it's easy as cake, simple as whistlin Dixie
while I'm wavin the pistol at sixty Christians against me
Go to war with the Mormons, take a bath with the Catholics
in holy water - no wonder they try to hold me under longer
I'm a motherfuckin spiteful, DELIGHTFUL eyeful
The new Ice Cube - motherfuckers HATE to like you
What did I do? (huh?) I'm just a kid from the gutter
makin this butter off these bloodsuckers, cause I'm a muh'fuckin

First Post

I guess everyone's great at dishing out advices. It's like everyone has got that potential in them. But guess what, not everyone can follow the advices that they give.

I'm one of them. I seek people in need of help, I love helping people, but no one loves helping me. I dish out advices like I'm a genie in the lamp, but I've never once followed my own advice.

I'm not a modern day Shakespeare, I just thought of this because I was watching an eminem's video. Yeah, he's my fucking inspiration. He's the person I wanna grow up to be, having haters hate on him but the daughter that dotes on him. The wife that left him, but the fans that stucked with him. You lose a little, you gain a little. That's what life is about, ain't it?

Signing out.