Talking to the waves

"I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed, and that necessary."


My fucking god, I miss you.
I went to the park alone, in the early evening, before the sun set.
I sat on the rocks alone, and my mind ran free.

I looked out at the open sea, and I cannot help but wish you were there with me.

My nose was runny from the cold wind, and my eyes started to tear a little. 

My god, do I miss you.

I've been having so many dreams about you.

Every time I wake from them, my heart die a little.

I miss the way we would text.

I miss you in every way possible.

I never thought of myself as someone who would take love for granted.

And I guess that's exactly what I did.

I want nothing more than a strong mind, and a willing heart to tough out the rough together.

I'm not saying that you didn't try your best. You did, and I know I was a tough person to love. You were nothing but happiness I never took in fully.

"How can you forget a living human being?"

I pushed you too far away.

I made you negative. 

I took your 'never letting go' for granted and made you want to let go.

I know. I really do.

I.. wish I could turn back time and learn to appreciate your love.

I've never been happier than when I was with you.

I wish we could still talk about our future together, and create dreams together. 

Fuck this is too tough. 

I don't think I will be moving on any time soon.

You're an act too tough to follow.

You made me believe in myself enough to think that maybe I have a future outside of airforce.

Yes I'm putting you on a pedestal, never took you down from it since day 1.

There's nothing left to love in me. 

You have given up on me, and I feel like doing the same to myself too.

I'm not gonna, but it's difficult not to.

But know that if ever you need a listening ear, or a scrawny shoulder to lean on.

Or a hard bed, and a thin blanket to hide in. 

Maybe a car ride out to nothingness, or a plane ride out for adventure.

Should you ever need arms to run into and bury your head in an uneven chest.

I will always be here for you.

I am not much and I doubt I will ever be. But you know that I will always do my best for you.

"I fell in awe 

with the way

you once wanted me.

I am sorry a thousand times

if the way my lips shake 

did not make you quiver,

are the withdrawals setting in?

They say true love is poetry,

but I have not felt it lately.

It has come up in dabs and drabs

and burns like lies.

It has felt a lot like

my fifth watered-down drink

at a busy bar

when I just want to go home.

It has felt a lot like

the silhouette of your body

the empty bed makes.

I miss you weight..

And I miss your love.."