I am but bones and questions.

"Are you an idiot?"

"No, sir, I'm a dreamer"

"My biggest fear is that eventually you will see me they way I see myself."

I hate the beginning of anything new. The part where you yearn for the attention of the person you're talking to, though received, hardly comes easy. I don't like that feeling that you're often being forgotten, left at the back of their minds, only to be remembered when the night turns old.

The only real therapy right now for me is tattooing. I don't know why. It kinda takes my mind off of stuffs, and only concentrate on inking alone. Plus, the people there are really nice. Though heavily inked, they're pretty good people. & society tells us not to judge a book by its cover.

"Take shit in your stride."

But this situation I'm in, it's not all bad. It's making me grow. It's maturing me, mentally and emotionally. On one hand, I want to be single and live live without a care. But on the other, I want to be attached, tied down, and lead the couple life.

21 is a messy age for me. Everything's coming too quickly. The education of dollar bills and politics. Juggling time among family, friends and colleagues. Stepping into new relationships, meeting new people, trying stuffs out for the first time, taking risks, and all that shit. I was but a teenager a year ago. Society expect too much from 21 year olds.

I've also learnt to be straightforward this year. I'm going to risk losing P because I'm going to ask her something stupid but really important. I want to start 2014 afresh. If losing P is going to happen, I want it to happen before 2014. I want everything bad to stay in 2013. I'm crazy that way.

So here's to the last 5 days of 2013. Leave the bad stuffs behind. Let's move forward.

"I have this strange feeling that I'm not myself anymore. It's hard to put into words, but I guess it's like I was fast asleep, and someone came, and disassembled me, and hurriedly put me back together again. That sort of feeling." - Hakuri Murakami