I'll write you like you're my last few words.

Hi you,

Stupid, wonderful, crazy, funny, beautiful you. What the fuck are you doing? You can't just come into my life unannounced, and expecting me to not fall for you. Haven't you learned from the past, that I always fall easily? Like I told F(yes, she's a new girl but we're just friends), you're amazingly talented, has long hair, big beautiful eyes, plays the guitar, sings crazily well, athletic, loves animals, drinks beer, is a leftie, and loves LFC.

You're, in my dictionary, perfect.

That cab ride home was the epitome of 2014. It's been 7 long months since I last held someone's hands. Leaving out the times in clubs when I was drunk and stupid, this was obviously intentional and very much sober. The way you breathed so heavily while trying to fall asleep on my shoulder, in the cab, the part of me that wanted none of those, died.

I don't know what you see in me, I really don't. But like I've always said, and believed, "I'm not good at much, but I'll be good to you." If you're the one, then yes, those words are for you.

Just when I've broken down,  I found love can come again.

You touched me so teasingly, so endearing, that feeling, emotion, I thought I've lost long ago suddenly re-emerged. & when our fingers interlocked, I knew I was in trouble. Deep water I know I cannot get out of. And indeed, I spent the next day pondering what happened and what all those meant. I told almost everyone close to me, and sought for advice. I spent the whole of the next day thinking about you.

You have no idea how beautiful you are. When I saw you talking to them, I was mesmerized, I'm sure they were too. Thankfully for the bro code, or my friends would be all over you. Crazy talented, unimaginably beautiful, adorably crazy. I will write you like you're my last few words. I'm that sort of person, just in case you don't know. I will hold you proud, even if you don't. I'm that crazy type of person who loves, and loves too deep. Either that, or I don't love at all. I don't, and have never, believe in 'skinlationship', if that's even a known lingo to anyone. We either go hardcore, or we don't go at all. 

So dear P, thank you for being amazing. But if you're going to leave, do it now. I don't want another case of touch and go. Especially not with you. We've known each other for close to 2 years, and we've only come this far. Leave before this gets any messier. It'll do good for both of us. Because there is no competition on this side of the grass, but for your side I cannot say the same. The amount of love you get, I believe is way more than I have ever had in my entire life. I have enough scars, one more won't change me, but it definitely won't do my sanity good. 

Leave, P, or stay. Your move.

"For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So crumble. Collapse. This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth."